When someone feels that their consent has been violated, we encourage Members to come forward and share their experiences with us through our confidential reporting system.
You can pick up a blank incident report at the front desk and drop it off in the secure mailbox, located on the inside of the door.
The Club Owner is the only person with access to this mailbox. You can also email us at email@example.com. The Club Owner is the only person who has access to that email account. (The same cannot be said about Fetlife or other social media platforms - those are shared)
Be sure to include the following in your report:
- Your name and how we can contact you (If you want a response or action taken)
- The name of the person you feel violated your consent (If you know it)
- Any other identifying information about the person (Fetlife name, Tinder, Facebook, etc)
- Details about the incident (When, where, how and what exactly happened)
- Any texts, emails, photos or other information that you think is helpful in understanding more about what you experienced.
- Support you would like to receive from the club
- Law Enforcement
- Legal assistance
- Crisis Center Support (TESSA)
- Actions you would like to see taken
- Please remember, we may not always take the action you might prefer, but we will absolutely consider your wishes once we conclude our investigation of the issues.
How We Respond:
Incidents come in varying shades - some may be misunderstandings or lapses in communication or judgement, while others are more serious. We will respond to every report we receive and will look into every allegation made to the very best of our ability.
When we receive a report, it will be assigned to an investigative team who will speak with the reporting party and gather information about the circumstances of the incident. They will ask for information in the form of statements, evidence (photos, emails, texts, etc) and other information that will assist them in understanding more about what happened. The collection of information is not designed to make reporting parties prove that their experience occurred, but rather to help us understand.
As we receive information, we may ask follow-up questions.
In the case of criminal acts like assault, rape or other criminal behaviors - we will always encourage that you file a police report and/or to obtain a protective order- if for no other reason than to start a paper trail and to provide some measure of safety for the reporting party. It is entirely possible that someone else has had a similar experience, but it requires that these incidents are clearly documented in order to build a civil or criminal case against them. This is not an easy nor simple process, but we do have resources you can use to help you through it.
Sometimes we will discuss the incident(s) with the respondent party and sometimes we won't. In cases in which there is a potential for violence directed at the reporting party or if there appears to be criminal actions involved, we may opt out of having those discussions that could provide details about the reporting person while we encourage the engagement of law enforcement. This is to protect our staff members and the reporting party from potentially violent situations.
It's important to note that we are not a court of law. We are a private social club and we can suspend a member at any time and for any reason. We do our very best to ensure that these decisions are made carefully and are never based on a member's race, national origin, culture, religious affiliations, gender identity, sexual orientation or political affiliations. We take this responsibility seriously and do our very best to be fair and just in any decisions we make regarding a member's status with the club.
We will ask the reporting party about what actions, if any, they would like to see the club take on their behalf, however it's important to know that we may not take the recommended actions upon conclusion of our investigative process. We will weigh several elements to make that determination:
- Severity of the violation
- Criminal elements of the violation
- History of reports against the individual
- Timeline and frequency of incidents
- Estimations of the likelihood of continued violations
- Estimations of the likelihood of retaliation
- Presence of protective orders
We consider a lot of elements when making these determinations and do not *ever* make decisions based on personal biases, grudged, rumors or gossip. The discretion we use to perform these investigations is purely to provide for the safety of the reporting party and our staff while also avoiding interference with police investigations. Additionally, we also recognize that we are not a professional investigative entity, but we do the best we can using the information and experience we have available to make the best decisions possible, erring on the side of caution.